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Written By: Gary on October 25, 2007 No Comment

So the funeral last week was really interesting. There were a lot of Native American Indian portions, I wish I had written this up earlier (or taken notes) since I don’t really recall many specifics. There were bits of singing and chanting and dancing and talking about the Indian ways. There were a lot of people speaking about him too, most funerals in my family no one ever speaks (other than reading a few verses) so I liked that part a lot. It went about two hours, and it certainly didn’t feel that long.

There were tons of people there, lots of family, friends and coworkers the place was jammed and they had to keep adding more and more chairs. It’s always nice to see that a lot of people show up for a funeral, but this was just huge.

Of course, there was all the (obvious) sadness and all that goes with that, but I’m not going to get into those specifics here…

Written By: Gary on October 18, 2007 4 Comments

“There’s a reason for everything”, I’ve heard this a lot lately but I don’t know if I believe this. I like to think the universe and everything in it is in some kind of strange harmony but it’s times like this when it doesn’t make any sense that makes me think there is no rhyme nor reason.

In case you don’t know, I’m in charge of a very small department at work, there’s only four of us (including myself). Two of us meticulously manipulate lots of data & records, the genius ‘computer guy’ works on all 1000 computers and the network, I do the audio/video, paperwork, meetings, and a little of the computer stuff. Last month was really busy, it was the start of the school year so it’s always cRaZy but the only part that’s important to this story is that the computer guy was off for a few weeks since they were having their second baby his wife works elsewhere in the district so we all know her. I probably mentioned to you how insane it was at that time (plus that’s when I was sick which made it even more insane). I don’t know how we made it without him for those few weeks, it seemed like everything that went wrong were all in the areas that I had the least expertise, the few weeks he was back were wonderful!

If you haven’t figured it out by now this story isn’t about me, it’s about the ‘computer guy’ and to move this story along we unfortunately just have to rip off the band-aid to get to the next part –

Early this Monday morning, completely and utterly out of the blue he just died. He was unconscious, they don’t know why and they couldn’t revive him and I don’t know if they’ll ever even figure out what happened. I’d have said he was a pretty healthy guy, he was 37 and he could have easily passed for thirty, so it’s just bizarre…

To me, this makes no sense. There is no reason. Everyone keeps talking about it different ways. I know I’ll hear it all again and they’ll probably say something like that at the funeral. But it just makes no sense to me. He had a wife he was in love with and two babies; to me, there is nothing more important than that. It’s just hard for me to be convinced there is some reason, some higher purpose that I don’t understand that’s suppose to make it all make sense in the end.

It seems like a pretty simple process to me – if the universe needs someone for ‘some other purpose’ you leave the happy couple with the newborn babies alone and you grab someone else. Unfortunately, if I were creating the formula it would weigh heavily against me – the single people who hadn’t managed to get married and didn’t have any kids should go before the couple with the babies. It just seems like a pretty simple concept to me and if we all understood the formula we could all be fruitful and multiply and live happily ever after…In case you haven’t figured it out yet I’m a pretty emotional guy. And this has been so very difficult for me probably mostly because of the surprise and shock of it all. Most other people that I’ve known who died it wasn’t a surprise, they’d been sick or old or something was going on so you kinda knew it was coming. Or it was someone I hadn’t really known well or seen for a while. It certainly wasn’t someone I was expecting to see in the next few hours. Somehow those things make it easier to take, at least it has for me in the past.

Plus, I haven’t even seen the baby yet. I don’t know what difference it makes if I see him later or if I had already, but it sure makes me feel bad. I know he knows I love kids and he won’t get to see me get excited over that. It’s just a stupid thing I can’t shake, but it’s bothering me a lot.

This isn’t the last I’ll be talking about life and the universe and actually living/experincing life, I’ve been thinking about these things a lot lately but I was feeling some were a little morbid and strange to talk about but maybe now I will.

Obviously, this is the short version of the story, the long version requires more details (which I’m not going to post here) and of course that even gets sadder than what is (bluntly) told here. I’ve rewritten parts of this a dozen times, but I can’t get it to feel how I want, I guess that’s why I’m a tech guy and not a novelist. And some of this isn’t written in the correct person/tense since I’ve been mulling it over and editing it the last few days.

Written By: Gary on April 3, 2005 One Comment

So after all the news about Terri Shiavo’s life and death I’ve seen information related to Living Wills all over the place. So I went and printed one off and filled it out. I still need to sign it and have it witnessed but all the key info is there. Here’s a list of states with links to living wills, take five minutes and mark what your preference is and who you want to make those choices (that’s really all you have to do).


It also made me think of my will and I hadn’t done any updating to that lately, I usually try to update it every few years. I don’t have an “official” will but I do have it written down where I want money and stuff to go. It’s not like I have a bunch of people who could fight over all my stuff, but at least it’s written down what I want. Otherwise, how would my mother know what to do with it? She probably doesn’t know most of my friends and she certainly doesn’t know the last names of most of the ones she does know. I keep with it a list of debt (only my house at this time) and stuff like bank accounts, IRAs and insurance information. I also have a list of things related to my funeral (okay, so maybe it’s getting a little morbid) but people always say “what would they want?” so now some of it’s written down. No one will say “hmm… in lieu of flowers, where should we send it” or “does he want it in the church he goes to? (and where is that?) or where he went when he was growing up?”. So I’ve got a few things little things like that put together, people don’t have to do it (what choice do I have at that point?) but at least I let them know what I wanted and there won’t be confusion about it…

Written By: Gary on March 19, 2005 No Comment
1. Are you afraid to die?
No. It’s going to happen (I’d just prefer it’s later than sooner).
2. If you had your way, would you rather die because of a lingering disease or instantaneously?
Instantly. But it does have the disadvantage of not being able to put your affairs in order.
3. It’s your last day alive and you know it. How will you spend your last 24 hours on earth?
With my friends and family. Maybe buy (charge) them all sorts of gifts since I won’t have to pay off the charge cards…
4. Describe your funeral or wake.
A regular old church service with everyone getting together for some food/drinks/celebration-type stuff. I’d like something different, maybe a drawing for some prizes or something…
5. How would you want your remains to be put to rest? (Ashes scattered at sea, traditional burial, your urn at your family’s mantle, be preserved like a mummy… eww.)
It doesn’t really matter too much. Probably buried in the regular old way, maybe launch my body (or ashes into space?).

From TGIF.

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