Jill Twiss is a Terrible Person.

Jill Twiss always makes me laugh. Lately she's had a lot of great posts so check out her site, in particular I really liked her recent Google thinks I'm a terrible person post....

I didn't know Robert Scoble could sing!

This is a great parody of "Rock Band" sung to the tune of "Roxanne".

Found at nehatiwari.com after catching her segment on PopSiren. A Revision3.com production.

Technorati Tags: Music Video, puppy, Robert Scoble, Rock Band, Roxanne, The Police

Star Wars According to a 3 Year Old

If this isn't the cutest review of episode 4 that you've ever seen...

I'm sure a few parts were re-shot, but it's adorable...

Here's another cute kid video...

Technorati Tags: Hey Jude, Star Wars, Star Wars According to a 3 Year Old

Introducing "The Book"

If you've ever helped anyone with a computer you'll love this! This is can also be referred to as "The Medieval Helpdesk".

This is in Norwegian, so you can probably turn the volume down, but it's subtitled. I just watched this with a bunch of technology directors and we were all laughing out loud.

Technorati Tags: Introducing the book, learning, manual

Taxes and Orgasms

Why is Doing Taxes like Having An Orgasm...?

Because while I can do it myself, I'd much rather have someone else do it for me!

Technorati Tags: income tax, joke, orgasm, taxes

Vegetable Orchestra

This is so cool! An orchestra composed of fresh vegetables for instruments!! They show the shopping, the making and the playing...

I found this over at Mrs. Who's blog.

Technorati Tags: instruments, musical instruments, Vegetable, Vegetable, Vegetable Orchestra, VegetableOrchestra.org

I Got a Hippopotamus for Christmas!

"I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" is one of my favorite songs. And that's what I got! As I present I got a certificate that I've adopted a Hippo at the Detroit Zoo. I've got a Hippo, a certificate and background (see the photo).

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas is a Christmas novelty song written by John Coctoasten and performed by Gayla Peevey (10 or 11 years old at the time) in 1953. You can listen here or at the iTunes music store.

This is a favorite Christmas song of mine and I remember it being on a holiday Mix tape that Jim (a co-worker) made one year. It was a few years before it got re-popularized about 10 years ago (maybe from an Ally McBeal episode).

Plus, it includes a trip to the zoo, which (once I go) crosses another item off my 101 in 1001 list...

Technorati Tags: hippo, Hippopotamus, I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas, Gayla Peevey

Pay The Rent!

I thought this was hysterical!!!!
I stole this from Jodi at faster pussycat... type! type!.

Bet you can't watch just once...

It's only 4 seconds so give it a look see...

Click here if it doesn't play....

Technorati Tags: slapstick, soccer

My Early Muir Owl

Hint - It's an anagram. And it's cute (and geeky), so don't watch it if that doesn't appeal to you...

My worry would be what if you didn't get the answer you wanted...

"Serge Gandaora", the make believe artist, is actually another anagram - "George and Sara"

Technorati Tags: anagram, engagement, My Early Muir Owl, proposal, serge gandaora, wedding, Will You Marry Me, YouTube

A Wonderful White Wedding

I thought this was funny. I usually ignore these but I clicked this one...

It was titled Funny Father Daughter Dance "A Wonderful White Wedding". It takes a minute to get to the good part but it's definitely different for a wedding.

On a (completely unrelated) side note Wedding Crashers is a kinda funny candid camera show on Monday Nights. You need to fast forward through the talking parts but the practical jokes are pretty good. If you've only seen it this week, try it again this weeks episode was kinda weak...

Technorati Tags: video, wedding, wedding crashers

The early bird...

HA! Never heard that one before!!!!

“The early bird may get the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese”
-- Wendy's MySpace Page

The Dangers of Sleeping With (Near) Friends

I saw this on Google and thought it was pretty funny, so I'm sharing it with you...
What I thought was extra strange was Google doesn't seem to have a decent way to share the code as easily as YouTube does. So I ended up getting it from YouTube instead. Google will post directly to Blogger, TypePad, MySpace or LiveJournal (and you need to give them your password!) but YouTube just gives me a line of code to past on my site...

When iPods take over the Earth

I'm not sure if this was a recent episode but I just saw this Wired post with screen captures and thought it was pretty funny!

Worst Burglar Ever

Stolen from Dean's World.

I laughed so hard when I watched this the waitress had to come see what was so funny.

Plans are for Planning

I liked this

Plans are useless, but planning is invaluable.
- Winston Churchill

It reminds me of

Man Plans... God laughs...

But it seemed like a good idea...

I'm sure they thought it would look cool to film their buddy doing this...

Posted by Jon

I hope they don't show the video to the insurance company...

It's been a while since we've been to McSweeney's

So it's been a while since I've been to McSweeney's Internet Tendency's (they make up funny lists). So here's a few good ones:

White And Nerdy

So Weird Al has a new video for his song called White And Nerdy from his new album Straight Outta Lynwood. If you're into science, computers and other dorky stuff, I hope you can laugh at yourself when you watch this one...

Magic Quarter Trick(?)

So have you seen the guy do the Magic Quarter Trick?
I don't post many YouTube type things but this one needed to be shared...

From Don't Forward.

Emergency Heiroglyphics

So when I was in one of the hotels in Egypt I saw this “hieroglyphic” sign and it struck me as funny so I took a photo of it.

Do you like toast?!?

Just had to try this since all the cool kids are doing embedded links like this to YouTube:
And yes it's totally stupid, but still, I laughed pretty hard when I watched it...

Found at Nicole's.

I promise any future links to YouTube will not be this huge ugly embedded display. It'll be a little link like this or an embedded image like on the right...

At the Doctor's Office

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, “You're not really a redhead, are you?

”Well, no,“ she said, ”I'm actually a blonde.“

I thought so,” the doctor said.

“Your finger is broken.”

Stolen from Tawcan at Confessions of a Monkey.

Best Blonde Joke Ever

Not a big blonde joke fan but this is the best blonde joke ever. And you know I don't often tell jokes...

Slow Learners

“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” –Elayne Boosler

Here's another...

“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my
fishburger and I realize, Oh my God….I could be eating a slow learner.”
–Lynda Montgomery

From Don't Forward.

Hot and Cold or is it Right and Left?

I just read the funnies from Sunday and I thought this was absolutely hysterical!!! I'm still laughing at this while I write this.

This silly thing is, that it probably wouldn't make that much of a difference in the long run, I know people like it different temperatures but if they're both cold they're both gonna turn it up they're both going to get warm. (But I'm still laughing.

Jill Twiss - Video Comedy

So I like Jill Twiss's Blog, it's called “The World of Jill Twiss:Where Good Things Are Good and Bad Things Are Comedy Material”, it's generally pretty funny and I've had her on my blogroll for a while. I'd go see her if I knew she was ever in the Detroit area or I was in her area. There's a video on-line of her, it's stand up and the lighting is awful not so great but you can hear her just fine so go take a look.

Dog Condoms

Samantha will tell you all you need to know about Dog Condoms. She's got a funny cartoon too. (That's all I've got to say about the matter).

Chapter Titles From My Creationist Textbook.

Check out Chapter Titles From My Creationist Textbook at McSweeney's Lists.

Klingon Fairy Tales and Things Hagrid Would Say If He Served Jesus Instead of Harry Potter are pretty funny too.

McSweeney's (as usual) is hysterical!

This site, with it's lists of lists always cracks me up!

The Spaghetti Harvest

So when I was a kid the local movie theater, in lieu of cartoons, would show short documentary type shows. These 3-7 minute shorts might be on skatboarding, mountian climbing or any old thing (some were new, some were old). The one I'll always remember is about the annual Swiss Spaghetti Harvest, they show how they harvest the spaghetti trees and lay it out to dry. You can watch a low quality version (in RealPlayer) and you'll get the concept.

Update: I noticed the direct link (click the image) was broken. So I'm moving this back up towards the top so you can take a gander if you missed it the first time.

I knew it was a joke but it was totally deadpan. It wasn't until years later I learned it was part of a (normally serious) BBC show they showed on April 1st, 1957. Here's some more info and background. Why am I bringing this up today? Because the link hasn't worked for ages and it's working today so I thought I'd add a smile to your day. It's believed to be one of the first times television was used for a April Fools Joke. Here's a little more info from the Museum of Hoaxes.

August 1st or April 1st, any day is good for a joke.

Does anyone have access or know where I can get (purchase) a higher quality version of this?!?

Car that is art

So the other day I saw this cRaZy car. It's got these wild colors and weird junk stuff glued all over the car, like shells, pencils, dolls, painted bottle-caps and more than I can list here. So of course I took some pictures (click for larger versions), but when I got home they didn't come out at all (it looked like the lens cover didn't open all the way). I was pretty disappointed since I was trying to show someone the photos when I discovered they were duds...

Fast-forward to a week later. Guess what I saw!?!?! You got it, the cRaZy car! If you look hard at the enlarged version you can see the back wiper blade is a baby doll's arm. It's just completely bizzaro and I saw it twice in a week in different areas of the metro-Detroit area...

Beauty and the Geek

I generally hate the reality shows but this new one by Ashton Kutcher called Beauty and the Geek is hysterical. Seven beautiful women and seven dorks geniuses have to team up and teach each other some skills if they want to win the competition, but “they're so far apart on the social spectrum that they're practically different species”.

They extra funny part is I know these guys (or at least guys like them) from high school and/or college. Plus, some of these guys have never been on a date or kissed a girl. When the one category is massage the one guy was practically shaking when he realized he was going to have to touch a girl. The women learned auto repair faster than the guys learned massage. Be sure to check out the preview.

I missed the first episode so I'm not sure how the teams were picked, but it's some interesting choices.

In one of the final competitions two guys are in the other room watching the girls compete. The question is “What are windshield wipers made of?”, she responds with “rubber” and both guys watching said “I didn't know that?!?”...

Joe says, “I'm still a Virgin. No, I'm not saving myself...” HA!

Can I borrow a quarter?

Pick up line:

Can I borrow a quarter?
I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes.

Click for a whole list of them.

Squab Squab Squab...

I love Two and a Half Men. It's always worth a laugh or two (or three). Lots of funny Jake tonight; sometimes he's not so funny Jake. I'm laughing just sitting here writing this. :)

I think it's them singing at the end (them lip-syncing to their own voices). Although I'm not sure about that last note...

More lists - McSweeneys

Drinking Game

"Would it be weird for me to start my own drinking game? Like, I have to do a shot every time someone asks for my help... "

-- Veronica Mars

She's just so funny!!!

Chapter Headings on the Directions for IRS Form 1040 That Will Become the Titles of Best-Selling Thrillers by John Grisham

Check this one out, who knew tax forms could be so funny. I love McSweeny's Internet Tendencies! Some other good recent ones are:

Molly has the rules for you

Molly has some great rules for How to Live a Lousy Life. I know you'll laugh when you read this (sad) list, but only because you are picturing someone you know with each rule you read.

I saw this at Amy's (she's actually got this printed out and on her refrigerator).

McSweeney's Revisited

Looking for some humor I jump on over to the lists at McSweeney's. My favorites today are:

Your New Year's Resolutions

Jill does a new take on new year's resolutions, she makes them for others! You might not find it as funny since you don't read her regularly, but I am finding it pretty hysterical. You can read her all the time at The World of Jill Twiss.

I want to go here!

Now this looks like a cool place to go to college!

Stolen Borrowed from Costa at Population Statistic who has more information on the how and why of this map.

Lists make me happy.

Okay, it's rare that I do postings to just totally promote another site, so you know that means you'll want to see this one. The list of lists from Timothy McSweeney. (Collected by, not necessarily written by).

My favorites (so far) are:

Funny Stuff...

Found a great site (DontForward.com) with a few humorous lists:

Two and a half men!

Jake is back! THis show always makes me laugh, but I'd been a little sad that Jake (the 1/2) hadn't been on (barely) the last few weeks. This week was better. If you're not watching this show you should, you can always catch Las Vegas in the re-runs...

Garden State

So I finally saw it! It was really excellent. Kind of a Beautiful Girls meets Lithium...

Now Everyone says I need the Soundtrack.

I always try to figure out what to say without giving up the movie... If you think you'll like it, you probably will. It's really got the gears turning in my head, I need the life altering experiences that some of the characters wen through so I can wake up and get moving with my life. Thanks to the motivators Maya and Jenni and everyone else whose been talking about this... I was halfway there when I remembered tissue, or more specifically that we didn't have any, but I survived. The funny stuff offset the rest a bit...

A few good quotes (not in any order): A friend's mom:

Oh... guys? Don't stay in here all day. I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector; it was beeping all night.

Sam (Natalie):

If you don't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a lot longer than you want it to.

Andrew (Zach):

We may not always be as happy as you always dreamed we'd be, but for once, let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are.

Sam (Natalie):

I know it hurts. But it's life, and it's real. And sometimes it fucking hurts, but it's life, and it's pretty much all we got.

Reflections on Blogging

Sarah B. (at drunkenbee) while commenting on her new design and reflecting on blogging had this to say that made me laugh.

When I began this site I had exactly two committments every day. I had to wake up and go to sleep. In between these committments I had a relatively large amount of time to, say, pick my nose pristine and write a story about it.

This was pretty funny too.

Things are still being tweaked and jerked around here, and, boyoboy do I wish I was talking about my crazy sex life

Fly with me..

We must have joked about something like this a half dozen times this weekend. We were also on a quest for helium tank for part of the time so we weren't so far off...

You know you're living in 2004 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.
14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
18. Even wor