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I couldn’t decide if I should call this category “humor” or “funny”, but I found a few things that were funny but I felt funny labeling them as humor so I went with funny.

Written By: Gary on August 5, 2005 5 Comments

SpaghettiSo when I was a kid the local movie theater, in lieu of cartoons, would show short documentary type shows. These 3-7 minute shorts might be on skatboarding, mountian climbing or any old thing (some were new, some were old). The one I’ll always remember is about the annual Swiss Spaghetti Harvest, they show how they harvest the spaghetti trees and lay it out to dry. You can watch a low quality version (in RealPlayer) and you’ll get the idea of it.

Update: I noticed the direct link (click the image) was broken. So I’m moving this back up towards the top so you can take a gander if you missed it the first time.

I knew it was a joke but it was totally deadpan. It wasn’t until years later I learned it was part of a (normally serious) BBC show they showed on April 1st, 1957. Here’s some more info and background. Why am I bringing this up today? Because the link hasn’t worked for ages and it’s working today so I thought I’d add a smile to your day. It’s believed to be one of the first times television was used for a April Fools Joke. Here’s a little more info from the Museum of Hoaxes.

August 1st or April 1st, any day is good for a joke.

Does anyone have access or know where I can get (purchase) a higher quality version of this?!?

Written By: Gary on June 12, 2005 2 Comments

crazy carSo the other day I saw this cRaZy car. It’s got these wild colors and weird junk stuff glued all over the car, like shells, pencils, dolls, painted bottle-caps and more than I can list here. crazy art carSo of course I took some pictures (click for larger versions), but when I got home they didn’t come out at all (it looked like the lens cover didn’t open all the way). I was pretty disappointed since I was trying to show someone the photos when I discovered they were duds…

Fast-forward to a week later. Guess what I saw!?!?! You got it, the cRaZy car! If you look hard at the enlarged version you can see the back wiper blade is a baby doll’s arm. It’s just completely bizzaro and I saw it twice in a week in different areas of the metro-Detroit area…

Written By: Gary on June 9, 2005 2 Comments

BeautygeekI generally hate the reality shows but this new one by Ashton Kutcher called Beauty and the Geek is hysterical. Seven beautiful women and seven dorks geniuses have to team up and teach each other some skills if they want to win the competition, but “they’re so far apart on the social spectrum that they’re practically different species”.

They extra funny part is I know these guys (or at least guys like them) from high school and/or college. Plus, some of these guys have never been on a date or kissed a girl. When the one category is massage the one guy was practically shaking when he realized he was going to have to touch a girl. The women learned auto repair faster than the guys learned massage. Be sure to check out the preview.

I missed the first episode so I’m not sure how the teams were picked, but it’s some interesting choices.

In one of the final competitions two guys are in the other room watching the girls compete. The question is “What are windshield wipers made of?”, she responds with “rubber” and both guys watching said “I didn’t know that?!?”…

Joe says, “I’m still a Virgin. No, I’m not saving myself…” HA!

Written By: Gary on June 1, 2005 No Comment

Pick up line:

Can I borrow a quarter?
I need to call my mother and tell her I’ve found the girl I’m going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes.

I just love McSweeneys

Click for a whole list of them.

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Written By: Gary on May 16, 2005 2 Comments

I love Two and a Half Men. It’s always worth a laugh or two (or three). Lots of funny Jake tonight; sometimes he’s not so funny Jake. I’m laughing just sitting here writing this. :)

I think it’s them singing at the end (them lip-syncing to their own voices). Although I’m not sure about that last note…

Written By: Gary on April 19, 2005 No Comment

"Would it be weird for me to start my own drinking game? Like, I have to do a shot every time someone asks for my help… "

— Veronica Mars

She’s just so funny!!!

Written By: Gary on March 21, 2005 No Comment

Molly has some great rules for How to Live a Lousy Life. I know you’ll laugh when you read this (sad) list, but only because you are picturing someone you know with each rule you read.

I saw this at Amy’s (she’s actually got this printed out and on her refrigerator).

Written By: Gary on January 14, 2005 4 Comments

Jill does a new take on new year’s resolutions, she makes them for others! You might not find it as funny since you don’t read her regularly, but I am finding it pretty hysterical. You can read her all the time at The World of Jill Twiss.

Written By: Gary on January 1, 2005 No Comment

NiceguynewyearSo if you don’t read The Nice Guy, you should check it out. This episode deals with resolutions for the new year. It generally deals with this guy Jeff (the nice guy) and the girl he’s crazy about, and their two friends (here’s the cast).

I’m probably more like the guy than I’d like to admit and the girl is any of a dozen different women I’ve fawned over in my life (who never even noticed).

The archives, which has many comics even funnier than today’s, are located here.

They’ve got background downloads with characters themed as Star Wars, The Matrix, Halloween, Christmas, Star Trek, Lost World and more.

Subscribe to the e-mail to get alerted for when the new ones come out. To give you more of an idea on their sense of humor, to unsubscribe, instead of putting “remove” in the unsubscribe message, you put “I just don’t feel that way about you”.

Written By: Gary on December 31, 2004 2 Comments

Now this looks like a cool place to go to college!
Fsu Joke Map

Stolen Borrowed from Costa at Population Statistic who has more information on the how and why of this map.

Written By: Gary on November 14, 2004 One Comment

Okay, it’s rare that I do postings to just totally promote another site, so you know that means you’ll want to see this one. The list of lists from Timothy McSweeney. (Collected by, not necessarily written by).

My favorites (so far) are:

  • The High-Anxiety Alphabet
  • Letters That Have Never Brought You an Episode of Sesame Street
  • Golf Course Names That Sound Dirty
  • E-mail Addresses It Would Be Really Annoying to Give Out Over the Phone
  • Sexual Euphemisms That Won’t Catch On
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    Written By: Gary on October 23, 2004 No Comment

    Found a great site (DontForward.com) with a few humorous lists:

  • How men & women think differently.
  • Things you’d like to say at work (but can’t).
  • If Bush was running against Jesus.
  • Relationship Jokes.
  • The gender of everyday objects.
    At least I thought they were funny.

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    Written By: Gary on October 4, 2004 2 Comments

    Jake is back! THis show always makes me laugh, but I’d been a little sad that Jake (the 1/2) hadn’t been on (barely) the last few weeks. This week was better. If you’re not watching this show you should, you can always catch Las Vegas in the re-runs…

    Written By: Gary on October 3, 2004 One Comment

    So I finally saw it! It was really excellent. Kind of a Beautiful Girls meets Lithium… Zach and Natalie were perfect for the parts he had this lost/numb look when needed and she’s hysterical. She seemed really young in the movie reminding me a lot of her character Marty in Beautiful Girls (but that was 8 years). I will need the DVD for the director’s commentary (and any extras). Even the not funny scenes were funny in some way. I laughed lots! Out loud.

    I always try to figure out what to say without giving up the movie… If you think you’ll like it, you probably will. It’s really got the gears turning in my head, I need the life altering experiences that some of the characters wen through so I can wake up and get moving with my life. Thanks to the motivators Maya and Jenni and everyone else whose been talking about this… I was halfway there when I remembered tissue, or more specifically that we didn’t have any, but I survived. The funny stuff offset the rest a bit…

    A few good quotes (not in any order): A friend’s mom:

    Oh… guys? Don’t stay in here all day. I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector; it was beeping all night.

    Sam (Natalie):

    If you don’t laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a lot longer than you want it to.

    Andrew (Zach):

    We may not always be as happy as you always dreamed we’d be, but for once, let’s just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are.

    Sam (Natalie):

    I know it hurts. But it’s life, and it’s real. And sometimes it fucking hurts, but it’s life, and it’s pretty much all we got.

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    Written By: Gary on September 28, 2004 No Comment

    Sarah B. (at drunkenbee) while commenting on her new design and reflecting on blogging had this to say that made me laugh.

    When I began this site I had exactly two committments every day. I had to wake up and go to sleep. In between these committments I had a relatively large amount of time to, say, pick my nose pristine and write a story about it.

    She doesn’t post often enough but she’s always pretty funny…

    This was pretty funny too.

    Things are still being tweaked and jerked around here, and, boyoboy do I wish I was talking about my crazy sex life

    Written By: Gary on September 26, 2004 No Comment

    We must have joked about something like this a half dozen times this weekend. We were also on a quest for helium tank for part of the time so we weren’t so far off…

    Written By: Gary on August 18, 2004 One Comment

    1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
    2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
    3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
    4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

    5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is they don’t have e-mail addresses.
    6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
    7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial “9” to get an outside line.
    8. You’ve sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
    10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o’clock news.
    11. Your boss doesn’t have the ability to do your job.
    12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
    13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.
    14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
    15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
    16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
    17. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.
    18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
    19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
    20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list.

    Written By: Gary on July 18, 2004 No Comment

    This show is hysterical! Steve, Jane, Susan, Sally, Patrick and Jeffery have some interesting interactions and friendships/relationships. coupling It’s from the BBC and they tried to make a US version but it flopped, which is funny since some of the shows seemed identical except for the accents (although that is one of the great parts).

    Some people think it’s a copy of Friends but that’s never crossed my mind. It’s more of a Sex and the City with both sides of the conversation. Although when Jeff talks to women it’s reminiscent of the pain of watching Ross talk to women. I think they’ve written him out for the most recent season which hasn’t hit the syndicated airwaves here yet. Too bad, he’s one of my favorite characters.

    Jeff is this goofy guy who says goofy things.

    Do you know what would be the best way to wipe out all of human kind if you were a space alien with a special kind of mind ray…? Make all women telepathic. Because if they suddenly found out about the kind of stuff that goes on in our heads they would kill us all on the spot.

    FYI – Jeff does have a slightly stranger mind than most of us (but that doesn’t mean what he said isn’t true).

    More quotes are on-line at the IMDB and the BBC site and the BBC America site.

    I guess the best part of the Jeff-isms is that he always thinks what he thinks is normal.

    Jeff: We were just spending a quiet evening in front of the television. In the course of events I swallowed some of her jewelry.
    Steve: You what?
    Jeff: There was a swallowage incident. I swallowed an item.
    Steve: Right?
    Jeff: Now normally when I swallow some of Julia’s jewelry
    Steve: No no, Jeff please. Normally… has never been used in the sentence before
    Jeff: Well, you know what it’s like when you’ve got your own actual real life girlfriend. It’s like you got a woman with a nudity switch. Sometimes when she’s laying there and she’s just so so totally naked, I can’t control myself. I just sort of hoover.
    Steve: Ok.
    Jeff: Obviously now and then in the course of any nudity hoovering you’re gonna ingest an item. Now normally, I remain calm, let nature take it’s course, and in due time slip the relevant item back into her jewelry box.
    Steve: I see.

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    Written By: Gary on June 3, 2004 One Comment

    Two little girls (and mom) are in front of me in line at the store. They were probably 4 and 5 (and mom was holding a little one) and they were bouncing and I chatted with them a little bit. Then when they were checking out mom said they were going to Grandma’s and one of the girls said “which one?” Mom responded with “Regular Grandma” . What made the answer extra funny was the kids knew exactly who she was talking about…

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    Written By: Gary on June 1, 2004 No Comment

    And sunlight can suppress it then (according to this) we should just “sit in the dark picking our noses”.

    Saw this in a magazine and found it on my first google attempt (“children eat boogers to increase immunity”).

    The only concern is that too much Mucophagy may lead to Rhinotillectomania.

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    Written By: Gary on March 24, 2004 No Comment

    joy376If she was reading the latest issue of Scientific American at the beach in the topics paying attention to my feelings and and proposing. No doubt, I’d be the brain in the vat.

    I was thinking more of the scientific pleasure scenario. I give them “smart” information and they stimulate my pleasure points thus making me want to store and calculate more information for them. I wasn’t thinking so much about the psychological debate about these things (would I rather be IN or OUT of the matrix?).

    I also just bought The Day the Earth Stood Still so the old campy image of the brain in a vat is in my mind… Well, either way I thought it was a good cartoon.

    This cartoon is from Joy of Tech (.com).

    Written By: Gary on February 26, 2004 No Comment

    Do you read Joy of Tech? The do funny up to date computer cartoons. You should be sure to look at the archives or check it out occasionally, they update two or three times a week.

    Today’s was about if cats and dogs could blog so it’s relevant to what we are doing here (writing or reading). It definitely speaks for itself. I think it’s way funnier than the old “On the Internet no one knows you’re a dog.” cartoon.

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