The worst napkins ever

Napkins are napkins, right? Sure some might be bigger or fluffier or prettier but they're all generally the same. At least in my experience. I picked up some America's Choice generic napkins the other day and every time I use them I cringe. They aren't very absorbent and kinda non-porous. Their qualities reflect that of paper more than napkins. I could probably run these babies through my ink-jet printer except they might not absorb the ink.